I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
