try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
