I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
