He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
