Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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