you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
