I wish I could teleport
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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