At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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