***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
