I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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