The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
