I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
