based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
