Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
dude. I can hear the air.
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