Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
