sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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