i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
