The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
FUCK WHALES
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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