I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
