Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
