I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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