i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize