wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
