i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
