I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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