You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize