Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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