please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize