it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
