Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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