The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
