really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
