He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
