I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
