U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
