just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
