shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
