Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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