Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
