I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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