Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
