just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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