I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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