At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
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