1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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