I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
