my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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