4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
