It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
