it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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