I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
