i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
