Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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