Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
