ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
