can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
