Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
