jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
