I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
only if we run a train.
done.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
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